How to Fight Violence Against Children?

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There's a campaign going on at Facebook - "Change your FB profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood... Join the fight against child abuse....."

Most of my friends and friendlies have participated and I'm amazed by its success - my facebook has become so cute and colorful.  Everyone seems little children with innocent minds.

I would like to contribute my idea.  
Many of us are much aware of the physical abuse or the active type of abuse.  Children who have been ignored or neglected are considered abused too (passive abuse). For me this emotional/intellectual assault is equally harmful to children. In fact, it is more rampant in ordinary homes. There's no wound to heal, there's no words to say.  Parents would say "I didn't do anything to that child".  That's the point - being quiet or having no (good) words to say to our children is a missed learning opportunity for them.  Many children grow up without practical intelligence  or  "common sense".  Their views in life are not normal, their behaviors are awkward, life for them has no value.

Our own house is like a kids gym. It is small & yet it's an extraordinary playground. There are climbing bars on the doorways, ropes on the ceiling, punching bags, trampoline and home-made convertible swing. Our TV has a timer and it's faced on a wall without a sofa - so my kids will not enjoy watching too long. They've got a second-hand gameboy (from their cousins) which they're only allowed to play every Sunday for few hours.Their computer time is limited and has schedules too. Cartoons on the TV and CDs are supervised.  Power Rangers and Tom and Jerry were stopped - but sometimes a short clip is ok..ssshh. don't tell their mother.

Well, I like our life as it is. Everyone is happy & healthy. My wife and I are enjoying our full time together with our kids. Our house is an exciting place to be. We pray together, laugh a lot, fart and burp.... Our kids have learned to cook & bake.... Reading stories has become part of their bedtime routines. All of us are now members of the city library.... I like the fact that even though my kids are still small & don't know much yet in life they also teach us so many valuable lessons.

My illustration above shows how media (television) can poison children's mind.  If we don't act or say something now, they soon will.

Photo credit: MmeEmil (Canada) 

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted December 4, 2010
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Why disciplining our children can do more harm than good

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Should we expect our children to behave? NO.
Should we discipline our children? NO.
So therefore, we should simply ignore them when they are misbehaving. Right? NO.

We should GUIDE our children instead of disciplined them. By GUIDANCE, they will learn how to do things right and not how to avoid bad things to happen.

Disciplining is merely giving a child terms and conditions that he should follow every single day.  
We (parents) want our kids to stick to their minds our RULES and that they should live with it. If they do not follow, they'll be punished. 
This will never teach children decide on their own when they grow up.
And ignoring our children will also not teach a lesson. Children are asking for our time, to tak to them, to be with them and to understand them.
Children have so many rights that many of us today have never bothered to know.  

Being a parent, I should not stop from just being a dad. I have so many things to learn and many things to make up.  
Everyday is a new exploration. A life in which I try to live by example, 
so that when the time comes that they are ready to start their own families, I can say this to them; 
"You're done being my son, but I am not done being your father." - meaning I won't expect them to take care of me in return or try to please me or do things for me because I told them so.
I want them to focus on their own responsibilities and grow their relationship with their new family. I'm just there to guide.

How about praising them or giving them rewards when they do things that pleased us or made us proud?
More about this soon.

* This Illustration is my quick rendition of Dr. Louise Porter's book "Children are people too" and inspired by Peter MacMullin's art.

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted July 18, 2010
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Chain Reaction or Life Cycle

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I'm back to my drawing board.  This rendering was purely by mouse :( I miss my Wacom) so I decided to make a water color effect and a child-like drawing. 

Anyway, I was inspired to doodle this quickly after seeing a father and son yesterday in the department store.  The dad gets mad and shouted at his kid.  I pity the situation.  Many parents do not know the implication of their attitude towards their children.  Experiences during childhood will either teach children how to handle life when they grow up or turn them into psycho.  Young bullies are not really bad children. How I wish I could talk to parents.  Hopefully my illustration will work wonders.

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted April 29, 2010
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I'm a New Daddy.... Again!

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My wife is expecting in November or December.  We're hoping for a girl this time but as long as my wife and the baby are healthy, another "Incredi-boy" is fine with me.

I just learned about the Alkaline and Acid diet before conception but i think it is still not 100% accurate in planning for the gender.
The most important now is to minimize stress and to completely surrender everything to God. 

I just want to share some advice to the husbands (father-to-be).  
1. You just need to be a great listener.  
2. Only give opinions when asked.  
3. You're there to support and protect, not to quarrel.
4. Your wife could also be in danger.  If you love the baby, love your wife first. 

Rule of the thumb for the couple:  
Whatever disagreement or bad days you have, strictly no foul words or physical abuse that will put bad marks to your relationship.  Pregnant women can't avoid nagging sometimes.  They need to release and express discomforts.  So husbands, prepare your shields!  :)

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted March 30, 2010
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If you think everything is fine, THINK AGAIN!

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This concept was inspired by T.W. Ayers, one of the author of "Power Dads".

In the eyes of a child everything seems perfect.  If we, parents, don't teach our child the good ways who will?
Children live by examples.  Getting them ready to their future starts from a home-sweet-home.

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted March 10, 2010
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The Best Child Tranquilizer

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You name it - PSP, PS3, Gameboy, Junk foods, Cola Drinks, Computers, 3G Phones, iPods.

When I was small there was only Atari and Game 'n Watch. Thanks to my parents, grandparents and siblings for letting me play only once a week for one hour.   I was also convinced that I will be like superman and batman if I eat my vegetables.

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted March 7, 2010
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When was the last time you heard your child say "I miss you" ?

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I was inspired by the phrase "Never wait 'till your children stop bothering you."

Every afternoon is an awaiting game for our 2 incredi-boys.  They both love wrestling and ball games.  
Our small house is like mini kids-gym full of obstacles - punching bag, monkey bars and climbing rope.
But they see those things useless without me.  I have to be around and be the monkey, sometimes monster, sometimes robot.
Active children need active parents. 

Filed under  //   Parenting  
Posted March 4, 2010
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